Okay Nikki, more than halfway done. Just one more mile…now three more laps…imagine the finish line…come on, you’re basically there…DONE!

“Hallelujah,” I pant to no one in particular, as I wipe the sweat off my face and try to bring down my heart rate. “What was I thinking?? Why would I voluntarily run 10 kilometers? And pay to do it, at that!” *face-palm* Friends, I am not a runner. I never have been, so I don’t know what possessed me to sign up for a 10K that I now have to train for. That’s 6.2 miles, for us Americans who are less than competent with the metric system. Now depending on how much of a runner you are, that might not seem THAT bad. My sister just ran the Honolulu marathon, and my girlfriend runs 25+ miles a week just starting her training for the marathon in Philly. 6 miles to them is a casual jog in the park. For me, though, who likes to go for walks but never runs, 6 miles is freaking FAR. I snap a pic of my tomato-red face to send to my sister, “Please remind me why I’m doing this,” as the caption.

Sometimes I bite off more than I can chew. I am often UN-pleasantly surprised to find out something I wanted to do is much harder than it seemed. Certainly, running a 10K makes it onto that list, but it’s not the only thing there. I’m not proud to say I cycle through hobbies like the seasons (hello guitar, spin class, kickboxing), but honestly, it’s not just activities and phases that have short-lived chapters in my story. HOWEVER, there are many times where even though I have taken on something hard, I followed through with it until I am where I am today. Sometimes I can credit my resilience, and sometimes it’s due to pure stubbornness. Example A, no one told me or asked me to run a 10K, but now that I’m signed up I am absolutely going to make myself run the whole thing.

When in medical training, I often heard “it’s a marathon, not a sprint.” Let me tell you, this is a very good metaphor for my career. Just when you think you are coming around the last corner, you discover there is another mile. The hours are long, and you inevitably get tired…like, really, really tired. I will admit I’m not the greatest at pacing myself, but a lot of it stems from the fact that in medicine you can’t “stop and walk” whenever you want to. Patients need you at 3:00 in the morning just as much (or more) as they do at 3:00 in the afternoon. Now, I know this sounds like I’m complaining, and you may be thinking, Nikki, you signed up for all of these things. Well, yep, I sure did. Don’t get me wrong, I have no regrets (well, maybe the 10K). So, where am I going with this? Let me show you.

One of my favorite quotes is that from a woman named Nightbirde, an America’s Got Talent contestant that has since passed away from cancer. She was battling her illness when she auditioned for the show, knowing that she had very little chance of survival. Still, her words stuck with me for years, and I kept them in a note on my phone for when I needed a reminder. She said, “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.” Even staring death in the face, she had the courage to do the things that brought her joy. Wow. I didn’t know her personally, but she seemed like an incredible person. Fortunately, my life is not that hard. I lament my 5am wake up calls, and I dread every step on that treadmill, but I know when to count my blessings. Spending long days at the hospital allows me to practice my patient care skills, while building the stamina and resilience that this career requires. My daily jogs in the gym will help me succeed in my pursuit of the so-called “runner’s high,” and hopefully finish my race in March feeling accomplished and strong. While you will never catch me running a real marathon, I hope you find me reminding myself why I do this. You can find joy in hard things, and I urge you to try.