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Blog

You may want to start from the beginning (at “Who’s Nikki?”), but feel free to enjoy any of my posts as its own entity!

  • Love, your big sis

    I don’t really remember August 1st 1997, but it was one of the best days of my life. There is a home video, taken by my aunt, of just-turned-2 year old Nikki in pjs, twirling my hair and sucking my thumb, as usual. I must have been asking for my mom, because from behind the… Read more

  • I promise

    Everybody knows that “pinky swear” is the most serious promise that one can make at 9 years old. Like, “come hell or high water” and “til death do us part” kind of serious. Well, at the time. I’m sure we can all think of a time when we have broken a promise, EVEN one that… Read more

  • Home sweet home

    “I know you hate quotes on the walls,” I smirk, “but I think in our apartment we will have to compromise on décor.” J rolls her eyes, but I see the corners of her mouth twitching up into a smile. “Of couuuurse, Nikki, I’d even put quotes on the walls for you.” “Good,” I grin… Read more

  • I need you

    “I need to take a walk.” I walk briskly away from the workroom to do a lap of the floor, breathing deeply and trying to clear my head from the encounter I just had. “No problem,” my attending Dr. M replies, “I’ll be here if you need me!” I had just admitted C, a tween… Read more

  • In the blink of an eye

    The night before I start my month as Heme-Onc senior, I am up tossing and turning for hours. I know it’s the anxiety about starting something new that’s preventing me from relaxing into precious sleep, but I can’t turn it off. It’s a routine I know well; this is how every rotation starts. What if… Read more

  • Sick: reflections on adolescence and my journey to well

    I very vividly remember sitting in the children’s wing of the hospital, IV in my arm and wrapped in blankets waiting to be called back for my endoscopy. I’m sure I looked like the picture of health…or not. My mom was in the locker room putting on the disposable bunny suit so she could come… Read more