OH. MY. GOD, I thought to myself as I sat on a train headed back to New Jersey. That was SO. GOOD. I closed the book and tried to pick my jaw up off the floor. I flipped to the cover page, and immediately started googling “Taylor Jenkins Reid” to find what I could devour next.

A few months ago, I was gifted the novel The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. I started it a few weeks later and really enjoyed what I had read, but then life got busy and I never got around to finishing it. A few weeks ago I had some free time and picked it back up, only to find I could not put it down. I don’t want to give any spoilers so I am not going to talk about the specifics, but the book is about an aging movie star who hires a journalist to write her biography. She details the escapades of her youth, including the coming and going of seven husbands over the course of her lifetime. It is a novel about struggle turned success, fame turned scandal, love, lust, and being true to yourself. It’s phenomenal. Go find a copy.

One of the reasons I loved the book, and there are many, was that it really made me think. At the risk of sounding like my AP English teacher, I want to highlight 3 major themes of the book that I think are worth talking about, namely:

1. Learning to take what you want
2. Being your authentic self
3. The complexity of being human

Often I am the person who, when served the wrong food at a restaurant, will keep quiet and eat what was served, even if I am disappointed the entire meal because it is not what I actually wanted. Why would I do that? Why should I do that? I highly doubt it would devastate the server to ask them to bring the correct meal, especially when asked politely.

If you don’t ask for what you want, the chances of getting it are significantly slimmer. It may be handed to you anyway if the right stars align, but most of us are not that lucky. One of my favorite snippets of advice is, “the worst they can say is no.” (Another is “ask for forgiveness, not permission,” but that’s another story). But “taking what you want” sounds icky, as if you were taking candy from a baby. At the same time, if you know what you want and it’s up for grabs, why not take it? If you don’t, someone else surely will, and that’s when envy will rear its head. It’s a fine line, and one I am approaching with caution. Throughout the book Evelyn gives us numerous examples, taking what she wants before it is offered, both when she deserves it and when maybe she doesn’t. But that’s the other thing, who decides what we deserve? I could write an entire post on this alone, but I’ll leave you to ponder it.

A second theme woven throughout the book is a little more straightforward: Life is too short to pretend to be someone you’re not. Evelyn masterfully details the societal pressures that prevented her from living her truth throughout the course of her life. By the end, many of her loved ones are gone, her fame is fading, and she realizes that all she ever really needed to be happy was the freedom to be herself. I don’t have seven ex-husbands, but I know a thing or two about feeling hesitant to be my authentic self. As a gay woman who is happily partnered with an amazing girlfriend, I want nothing more than to show the world what love looks like. There are times, however, when it doesn’t feel safe to hold hands, or sit too close in public. Things are better now than they had been even just a decade ago, but it’s still a real concern at times. In a different vein, I think it’s also important to be honest with ourselves and others when it comes to our social and professional relationships. In an interview with a fellowship program recently, I told the attending “I don’t have a ton of research experience, and it isn’t a huge passion of mine. If that is what you are looking for, fine, but I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not.” She paused and jotted something down, then replied “Well then you are wise beyond your years, Nikki.”

The final and perhaps most fascinating theme in the novel, which underlies every character and every plot point, is the incredible complexity we possess as humans. In childhood fairy tales there are always the “good guys” and the “bad guys,” but in real life it is so much more complicated than that. I have come to realize that everyone has some good and some bad in them, and that isn’t a judgment but more so an observation that humans are incredibly complex. There is a reason we say things like “you bring out the best (or worst) in people,” because both are inevitably in there. And it’s not even like sides of a coin, one good and one bad, either showing forward at any given moment. People can be good and bad and in between all in the same moment, and perceived differently by different people at the same time. It’s why I try to remind myself not to reduce a person to their actions, or to just one of their many personality traits. It’s tough. How do we find human connection, and better understand each other, when there is so much more than meets the eye? What does it mean to have a “love-hate” relationship with someone or something? I don’t know friends, I don’t think there are correct answers here, but man it gives you something to chew on.

Anyway, these are some of my thoughts after reading what may have been one of my favorite books of all time. I hope you find books that make you think, if not this one then another that challenges your viewpoint as you continue to write your own story. I have a copy of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo if you are interested in borrowing it. Alright, friends, back to the shelves.